Love and purpose is for the brave

PS: This will be a long emotional (it will incite different emotions) post. I mean well. In every way, I do. The choice to read and heed is yours. Very well...

When I got into a relationship early this year, the conversations that were happening around me with the girls I was hanging with were just... It was good I was silent.

                                

The girls would give me that squinty look that says, "You are a brave, brave, brave soul to say yes to be in a relationship with him." And i'd be lying if i said it didn't sting me. It did. But I forgive you.

But here's why: The girls were talking about the kind of men they would want to get married to or be in a relationship with. Most of the generic answers were that he has to be tall, buff (definitely well built) and i'm sure though it was never vocalized, a number of them probably muttered rich under their breath. But definitely not any of the men that were around them at the moment, that is: short, chubby, skinny, younger than me or immature (i believe was mentioned) and maybe, just maybe someone who is a student (i sense familiarity and a lack of discernment of the men around them)

And they went on to describe just how brave I was because those were the very things they wouldn't sign up for. If brave is choosing purpose over shortsighted imagination, then i'm it!

I don't think some ladies are single because they haven't met the right guy. I think it's because if you knew who God has in mind you would straight on reject him and miss out on purpose a.k.a you still have an aspect of immaturity in you. Purpose is never far away.

You see, a lot of us girls will miss it if we're stuck and hellbent on shallow irrelevant particulars of the men to get married to.

Brief background >>>

2012 for me was a year of healing from a lot, a lot, as in A LOT, of things. I wasn't ready for a relationship because I was in pain and healing from my past. One conversation with my friend Marie led us to talk about the kind of guy we would want to marry and this was my response: Someone who will love me, who will stay (committed guy) someone who won't lie to me, and someone keen on their relationship with God (spiritually mature or growing to it) No physicals or other qualities, she asked. No. Not coz I was awesome. I've just always been open and thought that way. In the past I had dated short, tall, younger, chubby, buff, brown, dark, all sortsa tribes, I was never choosy. That's just how i've been.

So I stayed single through 2012 and kept turning down the few guys that showed interest. Why? I wasn't ready yet. Then 2013 God just turns it all around and then boom, I agree to be in a relationship (coz He had been leading me to warm up to a good friend of mine and now boyfriend)

In my head, I was doubting that i was ready. I mean, I was warming up to the idea of being in a relationship, the how and whom was what I asked God to fill. And so He did. And both David (my boyfriend) and I said yes.

And then the brave stares and the questions.

The girls: "You don't mind that he has a bit of a tummy?" (My nicer rendition)

Me: No. Not really.

The girls: I dunno if i'd be ok with someone who has a big 'tumbo'.

Me: *nods and smiles awkwardly*

Because in all honesty, my tummy ain't flat either way!! And he's hot to me.

Movies and TV are killing this generation! People want to get married to a prize and fail to consider whether they are also a prize to the guy anyway. I'm wrong? Ok then, why? Why does he have to be tall, and buff and working (substituted with loaded)? Is it so that others can envy you or be jealous of you? Think about it honestly.

Because many people are missing out on purpose and God's will because of a shallow checklist they wrote down inspired by Hollywood chick flicks.

I'm not trying to rubbish the tall, buff, loaded guy. No way. He worked to get there and kudos for that. And, he might just as well be God's will for you. Not because of his looks remember, but because of the life you are to build together in light of the purpose of God over both of your lives.

And anyway, who said that broad shoulders are what carry and sustain a marriage? It's God and how a man carries you and your family in the spirit.

But if you've discounted everyone else for a particular looking guy such that if another guy that is God's will and in line with His purpose for your life is brought to the picture it's a deal breaker because he doesn't fit in your checklist, then I feel very sorry for you.

Because it is God who packages purpose. You see, when God tells you He's heard your prayers and His desire, will and purpose is for you to be with so and so (insert name), He's not making a suggestion. He's not a match maker that will parade different men to you so that you pick whoever is to your liking. He is God. His ways are higher than ours and He's seen the end from the beginning. He is saying, "In light of My purpose and My will for your life and your future, this is whom I have found suitable for you." And what should follow this grace from God is gratitude. Not disappointment.

That's why many times when you dream about getting married or being in a relationship, the person in the dream tends to be headless (as in you can't see their face no matter how hard you try) It's because the person you marry/get married to is not necessarily a particular person but an expression of the eternal purpose of God over your life/lives. My friend Justin helped elucidate that once. Thanks Justo.

And I repeat this again, there may be other reasons God has not ushered you into a divine relationship but this may be one of them: the fact that you have shallow expectations of the kind of person you should be with.

Here's the thing, the Israelites could have been in the desert for 1 year rather than 40 years if they would have been prepared mentally and spiritually for Canaan. It's just that it took them 40 years and even then, the older generation died because they were stubborn and just weren't getting it.

It's not that God was mean and vindictive and trying to teach the Israelites a lesson. If anything, 40 years was God being patient and gracious toward them. He'd have been stoked if they took 3 weeks. He would. God really would have been excited.

It's a principle of exiting and entering. You need to exit right (leave those things behind - attitudes, mindsets, baggage) before you enter right. And your willingness to obey and incline to the voice of God determines how long it takes you to exit before you enter. It's all you really.

Also, not to rubbish the fact that God does honour some or all your desires.

Growing up, I loved the idea of getting married soon after Uni to a guy I met at Uni, like my folks did. I loved the thought of building a life together from scratch straight out of Uni, like my folks did. Let's just say i was inspired by my parents' story. And when in 2012 I thought all hope toward that was lost (to the point that I got excited about meeting and growing in love with someone I would get to know), in 2013 God revived a dead hope with someone I had thought was lost to me (as in i had humanly burned every bridge towards us ever being together. Haha!)

And truly, David is my favourite 2013 gift from God to me. He's all the man I need. He is.

What i've been trying to say in this long post (that many will not comment on or like which is perfect to me) is that we should let go of Hollywood and Hallmark and all those shallow standards we cling to as the way to go. Let God lead you to someone right for you as He sees best and He might surprise you. Reality may just as well be better than the utopia you were hellbent on getting.

And the truth is: love and purpose is for the brave who choose to obey God.

That is all.

HERE COME THE BROKEN part 2

Part 1 here

If you want to learn about pursuit, there's no one better placed than God Himself to learn from. From the beginning of time, God has been steady pursuing mankind to redeem, restore and to reconcile us back to the place that He ordained and set for us. And we know by now that He never grows weary of doing that which He has promised and that He is not a man that He should lie or change His mind. So from everlasting to everlasting, His heart is for you with an ageless Love that He reveals to you in every season of your life.

To pursue in Hebrew is translated as "Radaph" which means to “to follow, to run after, to chase” or, quite literally, “to hunt you down.”

Matthew 9:37-38 AMPLIFIED VERSION

"Then He said to His disciples, The harvest is indeed plentiful, but the laborers are few. So pray to the Lord of the harvest to force out and thrust laborers into His harvest.

Does it make sense why He (Lover of souls) is moved to force out and thrust labourers into the harvest? It's because every soul in need of redemption and an encounter with Christ counts. Each and every one.

Here's the thing though: We don't "radaph" lost souls much because we ourselves don't "radaph" hard after God much. Christians are called followers of Christ but do we really chase after and steady hunt down God because only He matters and satisfies? This is the one reason David was called a man after God's own heart. Nothing else mattered to him but God and God alone. The problem is, we're not hungry.

Hungry people don't have etiquette. They're not proper. Their hunger cannot be hidden. If the refugee camps are anything to go by, when food shows up, there's a struggle in the camp to get to it. If only His people hungered for Him like that...

What about when God shows up?

Are we conscious of His presence?

How do we respond to Him?

We forget easily. One time past, you were a wandering heart wildly chasing after the illusion of a better life before you finally ran right into the arms of God.

There is a selfishness resident in every ungodly contentment. It's the contentment that makes us stay when we are called to move. It's the contentment that makes us look away when the wail of a sick heart pierces our ears. It's the contentment that makes us watch a soul fade away.

The simple truth is that the great commission begins where you are. It's not for you to pack suitcases and leave to far away countries when people outside your doorstep are perishing. Our God is a God of charity. And charity (love) begins at home. And the message of love is the message of Christ. Of a Love that breaks boundaries, a Love that covers sin, a Love that redeems and restores stretching wider than our imaginations.

Increase your radius. Where you are right now, God needs to use you if you are willing, available and obedient. That's the genesis of the great commission (Acts 2:44-47) Because God saves the limping ones and gathers the outcasts. He draws them to Himself (Zephaniah 3:19-20) His heart is for them even when all they see are broken bones, wounds and shame. God loves people more than anything. 

But how will they know what they have not heard?

Even more, how can we preach what we are yet to fully trust and believe?

Our "radaph" is incomplete because we don't trust the reputation of the One who choreographed all life to brings us back to Himself. 

Yet His message of love is simple: He desires you above all else. You. Not things. Not doings. You. Just you. This is the simple message at which burdens that coil around a life fall. It is the message that wipes years of shame, guilt and regret from our faces. That we mean everything to Him. 

And we cannot preach what we ourselves do not know. We need a personal revelation of God's immeasurable boundless Love. We need to thirst after God until His heart is bare before us. Until our heart is like His - beating with the same passions and desires as His own. It's the only way that we will passionately minister to the lost about Christ. It's the only way that we will see the broken as He does: People aching for perfect Love that never fails. And we will know where to lead them - right to His Heart.

HERE COME THE BROKEN part 1

Most nights, you can be sure to find me gathering manna. Wildly surfing for strong words to feast on is the only way I know how to spend the early hours of my day. And that's how I stumbled upon a video a brilliant mind I had met and known in University had shared on his Facebook profile. It was a snippet of a video documentary his boyfriend is currently working on about transexuals in Kenya. I had to click it. And I watched silently fighting back tears as my lungs groped about for air. In the video, his words.. Her words were coloured with reckless surrender of a soul seizing the day with undertones of pain tucked so deep you might miss it if you aren't keen enough.

Loneliness. It's its own kind of muck that clings so close to the soul. We all want to be accepted and understood and will do anything just to find a semblance of home in this cold cold world. And that's the ache in humanity not just gay people, lesbians and transexuals, whether we know it or not. Like them, we're all looking for home and family and acceptance but we each take different paths to find it.

An unfamiliar heaviness settled in my spirit. It became so clear to me. The wound of the world is this: to love and be loved in return. But the fallen state of humanity makes our love broken, carvenous, in need of a completeness that fills us. And when we turn to everything else but God, our love is drawn empty.

Matthew 9:37-38

"Then He said to His disciples, The harvest is indeed plentiful, but the laborers are few. So pray to the Lord of the harvest to force out and thrust laborers into His harvest.

Those words echoed in me. "The labourers are few..." Christ, moved with compassion, ached for the souls yet to enter His kingdom. He was in need of labourers. He was in need of me.

But will I heed His call?

Will I allow Him to thrust me out into the harvest or will I kick and scream when He elevates me to a place of being entrusted with souls? 

If I step out of my life for a moment and see through His eyes, will I see them as He does? 

Sheep in desperate need for a shepherd? 

How deep is my love? 

Can I love them like a waterfall, raging and without bounds, just like He does?

Because they're coming... They're not so far away.. And my heart's already breaking for them...

They are in search of their identity, searching for completeness, searching for acceptance any which way...

The crack that is the source of their pain became wide and gaping with time. They're lost in a canyon of their hurt. 

No one ever told them they're wonderful just as they are. Not the voices that mattered at least. No one told them that they're perfect just as God made them. The world points fingers so they doubt. And they choose to be different to fit in only to stand out. A crowd of lonely people looking for love. 

God never makes mistakes. I wish they knew that. I wish they believed that. But faith and trust are words far removed from their vocabulary. I wish they knew that perfect peace is a surrender away. That healing and an end to all the anguish is a door away if they open up and let God in. Only He can fix what is broken. Only He knows where it hurts most. Only He knows how to end it. Only He can begin again with you...

Tonight, my heart is breaking... And if my heart is breaking like this I can only imagine the ache in His heart for their souls...

Lord of the Harvest, Lover of souls, prepare me. That I may lead them straight to you in their weary journey.

Part 2 here